Sunday, 8 February 2009

Badge Song

Your honour is a badge you wear
pushed into your skin
bleeding

Don't pin this one on me.
I don't want it.
I haven't the space on my chest for more scars.
I have holes in my heart where I have plucked out stars
to symbolise your eyes
howls have hurt my hearing
hums remain day
in
day out
always

I tear myself up like pages between pressed closed covers
or blankets
strewn onto dusty floors
dusty from the dirt of a thousand boots
and skin and hair shed
to keep me from you

Tear yourself apart and bleed
I'll catch the drops,
collect the beads
of blood- tears
and sweat from your face,
off your hair
pooling in the small of your back as you kneel and reel
and drive your hard round wheels over me.

I know my feelings
won't change your mind
about what you believe

So I'll crawl under covers and ground I once tread
Hide for centuaries
catch motes
dig moats
and leave, my love 
unsaid.

And with time the badge you pinned to yourself
might grow over
You might find the way.
You might find me
and wake me.

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