Saturday, 27 August 2011

Promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep

My father recently had a stroke.

All pictures courtesy of Lynese Morris

My parents are living in the UK following my Dad's retirement from the ministry in the Methodist Church of South Africa.  Despite the fact that he had served long and hard in his calling he knew God had more work for him to do, it turned out to be ministry to the (mostly elderly) people of Downham Market in Norfolk.
 Daddy has a heart for the elderly and has really enjoyed his time in the UK thus far, however he does have a tendency to take on more and more commitments until eventually he bis in way over his head.
 People who know me well probably think this must be where I get the tendency from as I regularly get in over my head.
 Everytime he goes to any meeting he ends up voted onto some committee or another. It used to be a running joke at home whilst I was growing up that Daddy would get back from conference or Synod and have to sheepishly admit confess to my mother that he had once again got himself elected secretary of synod or the treasurer or chairman of some sort of committee.

Of course this sort of thing was supposed to be less likely in the UK but somehow he still managed to get very involved in all sorts of things that had him rushing between meetings and services with my mother driving him as he has had to stop driving since he developed a problem with his eye sight a few years ago.

On Sunday a fortnight ago he had a minor stroke and ended up in the stroke unit at a hopital in King's Lynn.

He was discharged this week and is now at home and seems to be getting back to being himself again. Fortunately he can still speak and whilst he is struggling with some things like his eyesight and reading and concentration it is unclear whether that is all to do with the stroke as he has always had some issues with Dyslexia and attention deficiet.

It is unclear as to how much and how quickly he will be able to resume his work but I know that he has lots of work still to do. I feel perhaps his stroke might help him understand some of his parishioners better who have had strokes and so suffer the same sorts of frustrations he has had to endure of late.

God works in mysterious ways and who knows how He will lead my father in the future.

Another thought that cmoes to mind is that sometimes God takes away in order to give. While my father has never been one to try to attract undue attention to himself he is put on a pedastle somewhat by his parishoners. This sort of worship of the man rather than his message is a common problem in many churches world wide. People look for heros and will create one when they can't find one.

While my father would deny it vehermently I know that at times some people have almost seen him as more important to them in their spiritual lives than God. That just won't do. I think it might be possible that God has chosen to work through my dad in this way to show people that it is He, not the man carrying his message, that provides the heroism people search for. I think my dad would like that idea. He is very strong in faith and I am comforted by his faith.

It is great to stop by the woods sometimes but a rest is not always an indication that one's journey is over. As for Daddy I know he appreciates the beauty of the woods, "Lovely, dark and deep" But he has "promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

BANNED from a Mummies Forum.... The whole story

I must be a terrible person to get this one right.

Or is there more to this than originally meets the eye.

If you know me then you know there probably is.

This is actually a story not about being banned from a mommies forum but about how having a medical condition can paint over your whole life and make it almost as if you have a warning label tattooed on your forehead.

I have taken a while to write this as I wanted to give myself time to "get over" the total and complete and rather shocking feelings this little episode brougt out in me. I ran the gaumet from indiference, to disbelief and shock and frustration and finally complete disgust and disdain.

I feel now a few months after the fact I have come to the point at which I am ready to begin my sorry story.

(Well I wrote this intro a few months ago and never got any further.)

Clearly I was still not ready to write it. I don't think I ever will really be.

Basically long story short, stupid people will find anything they can to use against you if you don't stack up to their ideals and expectations. I am just more of a taget because I am open about my manic depressive illness (some prefer Bipolar Disorder, but I prefer the more descriptive term I used before).

I would never accuse a person without a leg of not having a leg to stand on if their argument didn't make sense to me, or telling someone who is hearing impaired that they are "deaf to reason" that would just be rude. Rudeness is inexcusible, as is stupidity. I have said it a few times before and I say it again. There is no pill for stupid.

I have always (well since being diagnosed and knowing it myself) been open and frank about my illness. I do not use it to make excuses for bad behaviour, nor do I tolerate being treated like an invalid because of it. I take my meds, keep a civil tongue to those that would drive me to drink, and work hard at being the best I can be, everyday.

I even chose my online name, MoodyEve, as a nod to the illness, a way of keeping myself smiling and making light of the darkness that sometimes encloses me.

But the brutally ignorant and very hypocritical will never understand it. Not really.

And so I found myself banned from  Calora's parenting forum. Not for any good reason but because I did not allow myself to to sidelined and ridiculed and would not shut up about things that were, in a word, wrong.

Thankfully those members who I had become friends with have continued to stay in my corner and are still friends on facebook and skype.

Here is the facebook note that I posted following my first "slap on the wrist", complete with comments and follow up feedback as I ended up banned.

To the SuperAdmin who went too too far.....

by Moody Eve on Wednesday, 02 February 2011 at 07:07
I have been accused of being too negetive and critizising "on a daily basis" on a particular facebook page.
I take great exception to this especially since I have just gone through that particular page with a fine tooth comb (took an hour to go through all the comments and posts) and can only find times where I have "liked" comments or given comments of support or encouragement. Also I have hardley ever commented on said page and certainly not daily.
All I did do though was comment on an article about baby names and suggested that parents use more than one source of meanings for baby names as some sites have errors (hey, to err is human). My child's name and another of a friend of mine's is a case in point. That was a comment on an article that had to be moderated before it was published so I figured if what I said caused any offence to the moderators they would just make the alterations they needed to, I also made some other very valid and not critical at all points about naming children. Instead I have been personally and insidiously attacked and the person who has done this has painted a bunch of others with his same brush by saying they too feel this way, however I have found that most of the others he referred to don't even know what he is talking about.
Obviously someone has a problem.
I was willing to accept that it might be me, iintrospection is a big part of my method of understanding myself. I am forthright and can sometimes come across as too direct.
However on investigation I have come to realise it is not.
You know who you are though.
Your loss.
I can now spend more of my time blogging and being helpful to other parents in other ways.
This is not the last I will say on this subject.
I write this to get it off my chest and to answer any questions others might have about why I have left the forum in question.
Best wishes to you all.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
DeliciousMonster a.k.a MoodyEve and Eve

DeliciousMonster, yummy, but not to everyone's taste.

    • Jessica Otto Was Smith O dear, I obviously missed this drama.
      02 February at 07:34 ·
      Lisa Bulpin
      firstly...I love you name DeliciousMonster...super cute.. advice on name choosing seems like a really silly reason for someone to take offence....I expected something more extreme...
      I really hope you get the apology you de...See more

      02 February at 07:38 · · 2 people

    • Moody Eve ‎@Jessica it was all swept under the carpet and done so insidiously. This is why I felt the need to post this note explaining to anyone who might have been interested. I have no doubt I will come underfire for this too but then he'd have to fight fair, on my own turf, either here or on my blog where I will also be writing about this as I do about everything that goes on in my world.
      02 February at 07:51 · · 1 person
    • Jason Wilma Gray I am so sorry ME...I dont know what happened...or is going on...all I know is your are a great friend and have been for a few years now...I know you and know who you dont worry...we love you!!!
      02 February at 08:10 · · 2 people

    • Moody Eve
      Well, as way of an update I have now been BANNED permanently from that forum which suits me just fine as I was trying to delete my account and couldn't figure out how to. So my advice to anyone that I have recommended this site to in the past, be careful what you say and whatever you do, don't have a thought of your own that isn't sanctioned by them.... Also I have purposefully NOT mentioned who this person is as I don't even know, they hid behind a name and havn't even had the guts to email me directly which I would have expected from someone who has a personal axe to bear and was even remotely grown up. I am easily contactable via facebook or twitter or even by phone. I have nothing to hide.... As I mentioned to a friend just now I will also be blogging about this experience but will wait for a while rather than try to do so now as I have a lot of other work on my plate at the moment. Infact, that is what was so funny about their initial PM to me, the accusation that I was "on a daily basis" posting all sorts of attacks to them.

      02 February at 08:41 · · 1 person
    • Lisa Bulpin OMG..I can't believe they banned you..shew
      02 February at 09:57 · · 1 person

    • Jessica Otto Was Smith Ai, girl. Don't let it get to you!
      02 February at 10:14 ·

    • Moody Eve
      Lisa, it's not really "they" it's HE! the one person who has a problem and sees the whole thing as his own personal sandpit, any questions about it are met with comments about how much money they spend on building the site and marketing it and giving away gifts but as I mentioned when I first replied to one of his hissy fits, "the members themselves and the interactions they have with each other, advice they give and the support they offer each other is what adds value to the site..... without them and their opinions and comments and continued support the whole site is really a pointless marketing exercise doomed to failure."

      02 February at 10:30 · · 1 person

    • Moody Eve Luckily I don't know his real name or I might be tempted to name and shame but then he would have grounds for trying to attack him personally and get this whole note chucked off facebook, but since isn't named and the company isn't named either they can't do a thing to me if I want to speak out against this nonsense.
      02 February at 10:33 · · 1 person

    • 1 comment removed due to request by facebook friend.

    • JustinandLeeann King Well Miss Moody Eve,I personally don't you but have seen you at a few parties....a woman that is so true to it! You did such a kind act on saturday that I haven't stopped talking about....shame on them (HE) for deleting you...just goes to show the small mindless mentalities....
      07 February at 21:58 · · 3 people

    • Moody Eve
      Thanks for the supportive comments guys. I have begun my blog on this as this issue has kept coming up and generally it boils down to the stigmatisation a medical condition and predjudicial treatment of anyone who suffers from it. What's worse, just yesterday someone else with the same condition lambasted me for commenting on someone who as a throw-away remark asked if the bad behaviour a certain individual had exhibited might be an indication that the person suffers from bipolar as if to insinuate that having bipolar means you are going to do the sort of thing she did. Patently ridiculous.
      Fortunately that has sort of seperated the wheat from the chaff as far as some of the people on my friends list are concerned. 

      26 February at 08:07 · · 1 person
    • Elaine Machin
      Eve you always have my altermate respect. and I know my childrens. people who hid behind " conditions/bipolar thHyper lables " have not come to terms with who they are and as such have a lot to learn. I have seen lots of people with disabilities, conditions turn these into challenges and reach for their dreams. You are one of them an awesom mother, wife and bussiness woman. Hold your head high. You are a wonderfull person . Bless you may your life be full of the good things. I will pass on to you what Averil says to me. The grumps and judgement of others is their problem not yours. lv elaine

      26 February at 08:51 · · 2 people
    • Iris Allen Prejudices people are ignorant people. Ignore them - I know it is hard.And I love the "Moody Eve" name - what's wrong with it!? And what's wrong with being moody!? You are open and honest. ( I must actually call myself "Crabby Iris" because that's me)
      26 February at 15:14 · · 2 people
    • Paula Gruben Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind.

      Love you just the way you are, honey!! Don't change anything for anyone. *hugs*

      26 February at 17:20 ·

I almost feel proud. I know my daughter will be when she reads this years from now.

Kindle Cover woes.

I recently OK, well not recently, actually a few months ago but I am so slack about blogging regularly that it will seem like recently. aquired a Kindle.
Loving it.
I'm not making excuses but it is probably the reason why I have been scarce on the blogging side of things of late. I spend all my free time reading on it rather than blogging. Not altogether a bad thing.
Anyway, back to the point.

I bought a cover for my Kindle from since Amazon don't deliver things like covers to Sunny South Africa.

The cover I bought was, in a word, rubbish! It isn't real leather as it says it is, and I noticed last weekend it is starting to come apart.
Now I am looking for another cover.
I was keen on a Moleskin cover but interestingly although Moleskin make covers for iphones and ipads and Kindles, they don't make any for any current modles. You can only get a Moleskin Kindle cover for the 2nd generation Kindle, and the iPhone 3, although they do have an iPhone App which I just recently started using and am hoping will help me to keep ideas together for future blog posts.

Anyway, back to the point....
The Splash Signature leather Kindle cover.
Shocking quality, blatant lies on the product description in both the online stores and packaging, and not really worth the money.

Here are some pictures of the beginnings of the breakage. I have emailed them about it. Will post if I ever get any reply.
Needless to say I'm not holding my breath.